Some subjects are so personal and so important that they should be delivered in the words of their author. Perry Power’s story and initiative on inter-familial sexual abuse is one of them. The following words are by Perry and come from the home page of the charity that he is seeking to launch, www.theandyproject.org.uk.
Hi, it’s Perry here, the founder of The Andy Project (or ‘Andy’ for short).
I am launching this charity for one reason: because I know what it’s like to go through sexual abuse as a child and live in secrecy.
For me, it was my step-grandad. He groomed me and sexually abused me for over a year when I was 11 years old (except at the time, I didn’t know it was sexual abuse. I thought it was just a form of ‘love’).
After a stop was put to it, my dad told me to keep quiet. And so I did… for a little over 12 years.
I became depressed. I became suicidal. And I became someone who was so far from who I wanted to be, that I lost all hope of ever finding my authentic self.
But then, 2017 comes around.
Now, before I get to that, let me tell you about my dad.
My dad was a fantastic human being. He was funny, kind, and very heart-led. He was a great father.
But he was also a troubled man.
He had demons. He had pain. And he was an alcoholic.
And it was the alcohol, along with his high blood pressure and diabetes, that led my step-mum to call the ambulance on June 1st 2017.
When they arrived, they popped him into the back of the ambulance as they needed to take him to the hospital to even out his blood levels.
But, unfortunately, he didn’t make it to the hospital. He had a heart attack in the back of the ambulance and died.
He was 48 years old.
His untimely death led me to break my 12 year silence.
Why?
Well, at the time, I didn’t know why. I just felt like I needed to.
However, after I spoke out and started healing, I found out that 3 other members of the family were abused too…
And that my dad was one of them.
Everything then proceeded to click into place.
And that’s when I made a promise to myself that I would not let anyone else live and die in silence just like my dad did.
Which is why this charity, which is named after my dad, Andy, is being created.
A charity that specifically helps men, who are victims of intrafamilial child sexual abuse, to break their silence and own their story.
If you’re reading this, and you’re living in silence, then just know that you aren’t alone.
1 in 20 children have been sexually abused (and these are just the ones we know about).
A good portion of that statistic will have been abused by a family member, and an even bigger portion will have gone on to live in silence.
You’ve made the first step by coming onto this site.
Now… the second step is reaching out.
And we’re here to help.
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